Author Archives: authoryajna

About authoryajna

Yajna Ramnath is an author of various genres from contemporary romance, urban fantasy to erotic thrillers where she brings those very same imaginary friends to life. She bases her characters on different parts of her; the lover, the dreamer, the villain, the joker, the heartbroken, the insecure girl, the killer and the mentally insane. Her stories and characters walk the fine line between real life and fictional tales. Her typical day out is staying in with a book and getting lost in the power of words.

Interview with Reviews by Bee

Hey Guys!

Welcome to your tape… HAHA! Just kidding. Welcome to interview number 5. Do you know what’s the most exciting thing for an author? No? Okay, I’ll tell you… It’s when someone loves your book enough to take the time to create something based on your book, especially if they create a poster with who they see your characters as.

Hold your breath…

I KNOOOOOOOW!!!! So amazing. I was at work the day Bee tagged me in on Instagram, and I legit jumped up and down screaming. Over-reaction I know. But look how beautiful Dasher and Aria look!!!

Anyway, without any further gushing, let’s say hello to the beautiful Brit from Review by Bee.

 

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Who’s behind the keyboard? Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m Brit (Gosik) Lane. I’m twenty-five and I’m a proud aunt of 3 little boys. who have just stolen my heart since they were born. I’m a country girl from Northwestern Ohio. I bleed scarlet red and grey. When I’m not blogging or talking about books I work about 45 hours – 6 days a week or writing stories. and will be publishing my first novel soon. So I’m very excited for that

***I’m definitely going to be the first one to read that… I hope (hint, hint)***

Which book made you decide that you wanted to blog about books?

Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James. I know this is a book that everyone says but to me it is the book that got me into reading, it got me out of a bad funk after an abusive relationship. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole but then I saw all three books on the Walmart shelf one day in June 2012 and decided to pick them up. And I read all three books in two days.

Do you have a personal TBR (list apart from review requests)? If yes, what book are you most excited to read this year?

Yes, I do. Its ever-growing and at one point I decided to look up how long it would take me to read all 6,567 books on my TBR. and the site told me it would take me 95 years.. yes.. you read that right 95 years. So I would die before finishing it (lol) and I’m very excited to read Blood Match by K.A Linde, she got me hooked on vampires.

***OMG! Me too! Like will Beckham save her or what??? Well, he has to duh!”

What is your all-time favorite book?

This answer is easy for me and it’s Unravel by Calia Read her Surviving Trace novel comes a close second. but Calia Read writes novels that just consume your soul.

Who is your go to author when you are stuck in a book funk?

This is yet another easy one for me and it’s Natalie Bennett. She is my dark soul twin (lol).

Your favorite genre? Why?

My favorite is DARK ROMANCE <3. I do have to admit I do have a dark soul deep down. I’ve always been obsessed with serial killers and always been drawn to blood and weird stuff. So it just makes sense I love Dark Romance. I’ve read a lot of dark romance in my time since started reading them that they are no longer ‘dark enough’ so I wrote my own called Devil’s Play.

When you are not blogging, you are…?

I’m usually working. or sleeping. I have a really boring life because I don’t usually get days off. it sucks.

What are your top 3 Movies?

Gone with the Wind, China Seas, The Wizard of Oz. I am obsessed with movies from the 1930s. I’m a big fan of Clark Gable and Jean Harlow.

What are your top 3 TV Series ?

Supernatural, Lucifer and The Handmaid’s Tale. But I do love my tv. I find it odd that I love Paranormal television more than reading about it (lol)

Name one item on your bucket list?

I have 102 things on my bucket list. this is maybe the hardest question. But I would love to just randomly take a road trip around the United States. Or move to Memphis Tennessee That’s been on my bucket list the longest.

Favorite song that you’re jammin’ to right now.

Well, I am a country girl so I would say “Bury Me In Dixie by Riley Green‘ I find him and his voice so attractive.

A book you secretly wish can be a movie/tv series and who would play the main leads?

The Edge of Never by J.A. Redmerski and I would choose Brant Daugherty and Sabrina Carpenter

Review yourself in twenty words.

An Ohioan country girl who is a night owl with an old soul who loves to daydream.

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Thank you, Bee!

You guys can contact Brit on these platforms:

email at b54forever@yahoo.com

Instagram

Pinterest

Goodreads

Facebook Page

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Do you want to take part in a blogger interview, or know of someone who should definitely get in on this? Feel free to email me with “Blogger Interview” in the subject line.

Interview with S aka butthisbookblog

The most artistic page I have ever seen belongs to our guest! I was fascinated with Stephanie’s instagram page.

I mean, look at this image below!

DUDE!!! Imagine seeing your book brought to life this way???!!! I fell in love with this page and started reading quite a few books because of her posts.

I messsaged Stephanie randomly one day because of said fascination and she was kind enough to offer me a spot on her blog on release day! She shared my release without even knowing me or even if my book was good enough!

So, without further gushing, let’s get to know her a little more:

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Who’s behind the keyboard? Tell us a little about yourself.

Hello, My name is Stephanie or better known as S. I am 27 years old. I have been a bookstagrammer on IG @butthisbook since September 1, 2014 and I’ve been a book blogger since March of 2015. Reading has been a huge part of my life, since 2012. The one series that got me hooked on reading was none other than Fifty Shades of Grey. I was never a bibliophile while growing up and I honestly never would have thought I would ever become one. That is, until my curious little heart kept seeing this series all over the place. I decided to stop by target one day and buy the first book in the series. And well, the rest is history. I’m now a proud Bibliophile and can’t picture my life any other way.

***Did you know, I got the courage to get risky with my first book, Beneath Her Beautiful because of Fifty?***

Which book made you decide that you wanted to blog about books?

Sooo, in this case, there wasn’t a book that made me decide to start blogging rather than two girls that I friended in this community. Courtney and Kristen are no longer book bloggers, but they’re the reason I began blogging in the first place. They both invited me to be a part of 3 Fictional Hearts Book Blog. It’s because of them where I made such wonderful friends in this community. I do remember the very first book I blogged about though, and that book was Unravel by Calia Read.

Do you have a personal TBR (list apart from review requests)? If yes, what book are you most excited to read this year?

I do have a personal TBR list. AS of right now, my most anticipated reads for the rest of 2018 are.

What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera

Kingdom of Ash (Throne of Glass Series) final book by Sarah J. Maas

Tangled Like Us by Krista and Becca Ritchie

When blogging, what are your “must haves” (food, music, junk, naked men)?

Snack (chips or candy), and Music or Netflix playing in the background.

What is the hardest thing you had to say about a book?

I think the hardest thing I had to say about a book was when I was trying to express my deepest love and respect for a certain story. Atheists Who Kneel and Pray by Tarryn Fisher was a hard one to review only because I shared something deeply personal about myself.

 

What is the one thing you wish authors knew/understood about blogging?

Hmm I think it would be that blogging takes a lot of time and effort. Time that some people may not have but they try regardless to find the time to blog. Also, please don’t ignore the little blogs out there. I see a lot of smaller blogs get pushed aside because they don’t have a huge following. Smaller blogs/bookstagrammers work just as hard and are as devoted as bigger bloggers. 🙂

What is your all-time favorite book?

OMG!!!!! This is the hardest question everrrrrr!!!! I won’t be able to pick just one, but I’ll narrow it down to 3 of my all-time favorite books.

The Opportunist by Tarryn Fisher

The Man I love by Suanne Laqueur

Dusty Innocents/Delinquents by Mary Elizabeth

Who is your go to author when you are stuck in a book funk?

-HMMM… Ruby Dixon!!! Her books always get me out of book funks.

Your favorite genre? Why?

Romance. I’m a hopeless romantic!!!

What are your top 3 Movies (adaptations of books or other)?

My Best Friend’s Wedding

Mona Lisa Smile

Interstellar

What are your top 3 TV Series (adaptations of books or other)?

Shameless

The Office

Greys Anatomy

If you had 10 seconds before your house went up in flames, what is the first thing you’d grab?

Gahhhhhh!!!!! My phone most likely.

Name one item on your bucket list?

Sky Diving

Favorite song that you’re jammin’ to right now.

Sangria Wine‘ by Pharrell Williams & Camila Cabello

A book you secretly wish can be a movie/tv series and who would play the main leads?

Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher

If you had to give an aspiring blogger advice, what would it be?

It’s not all about how many likes you get on posts and it’s okay to say no to ARC requests. It’s no fun when you’re drowning in a pile of arcs and not be able to read what you want to read when you want to read it.

Final task:

Review yourself in twenty words.

Hmmm… gahhhhhh!!!! Idk. LOL

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Stephanie’s preffered methos of contact is e-mail at: butthisbook@yahoo.com

GOODREADS

INSTAGRAM

WEBSITE

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I cannot stress enough how beautiful this instagram page looks! Please give is a like!

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Do you want to take part in a blogger interview, or know of someone who should definitely get in on this? Feel free to email me with “Blogger Interview” in the subject line.

 

Interview with Laid-back Book Bitches Blog

You know, a lot of people out there think it is easy to just create a website, read a bunch of books and -BOOM- you’re a blogger.

Nope, not at all.

What I’ve gathered is that it takes so much of time and effort. Firstly, as someone who has a blog, I hardly ever find the time or remember to blog in my hectic day.

Imagine these bloggers! They buy books (cost), they read these books (time) while they have families/friends/studying/working, they review these books (time/thought/energy), and then they start posting about it on the various review channels, making teasers, posting on social media (time/effort/selflessness).

Let’s not forget about the daily pimp posts, where they allow us to post our link, sometimes those are hundreds of comments on one status which they have to sort through and then re-post on their blog, all without asking us for anything in return, like today’s guest!

Today, I have Dee from Laid-Back Book Bitches Book Blog!

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Who’s behind the keyboard? Tell us a little about yourself.

My name is Deanna (Dee) Wiley. I’m a stay at home mommy and wife. July I will be married to my middle school sweetheart 11 years. I have an 11-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son. I PA for one of the best authors (in my book) Tracy Lorrain. Who I also run the blog with.

*Childhood Sweethearts!!!*

Which book made you decide that you wanted to blog about books?

I was actually with another blog before we decided to start Laid-back Book Bitches Blog. I started out being just part of their review team and I just fell in love with everything about blogging.

Do you have a personal TBR (list apart from review requests)? If yes, what book are you most excited to read this year?

Yes, of course. I am so excited to get my hands on Shades by Jaime Reese.

 When blogging, what are your “must haves” (food, music, junk, naked men)?

I blog most of the evenings once my kids are in bed. So usually a nice glass of watermelon/strawberry water and when I do blog in the mornings Coffee or a Pepsi is a must.

 What is your all-time favorite book?

My all-time favorite book would probably have to be This Man. I mean come on who doesn’t love Jesse Ward?

*ALL HAIL THE LORD OF THE MANOR AND WETTER OF PANTIES!*

Who is your go-to author when you are stuck in a book funk?

I have so dang many, that really is a hard question!! Tracy Lorraine, Amber Lacie (AKA Queen of Ugly cries), Vanessa Vale, Felice Stevens, Kindle Alexander, and Kara Liane.

Your favorite genre? Why?

Friends to lovers. I have always since I was a teenager loved Friends to lover romances. But I will read just about anything.

Let’s get to know you a little more:

What are your top 3 Movies (adaptations of books or other)?

The Notebook
The Conjuring
Perfect

 

What are your top 3 TV Series (adaptations of books or other)?

The Walking Dead
Riverdale
Legion

If you had 10 seconds before your house went up in flames, what is the first thing you’d grab?

After my family and animals are out. I would grab my grandpa’s flag that sits on my bookshelf. My pictures can all be replaced. He’s been gone since 1993, my grandma gave it to me and I intend to pass it down to my kids
one day.

Name one item on your bucket list?

Visit the UK!

Favorite song that you’re jammin’ to right now.

Heaven by Kane Brown

 If you had to give an aspiring blogger advice, what would it be?

Be kind and understand, but don’t be afraid to say NO. Don’t burn yourself out!! You do what you can do and have fun doing it.

 

Final task:

Review yourself in twenty words.

One tired mom who fills her plate to full but finds ways to get it all done in the end.

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Thank you, Dee, for that amazing interview! You can find Dee and her team on these platforms:

The blog’s preferred method of contact is e-mail: Lbbbblog@gmail.com
Be sure to check out their content, especially if you’re an author!
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Do you want to take part in a blogger interview, or know of someone who should definitely get in on this? Feel free to email me with “Blogger Interview” in the subject line.

Interview with Ella Bianchi

Hello Guys!

As a newbie author, you go through the process of using every possible avenue to get your book read. I did something similar. I posted all over the shore about The Wreck of Our Hearts .

I had given up on anyone approaching me when suddenly I received a message from Ella on Goodreads.

She is actually the first person who read and reviewed my book. I was so glad she liked it and was incredibly honest.

She’s recently started a blog… Let’s get to know her.

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Who’s behind the keyboard? Tell us a bit about yourself.

My name is Ella Bianchi and I currently reside in the great state of Illinois. I live with my parents, older brother, Guinea Pig Hazel, and Betta Fish Skylar (Skylar honestly might not be the original name I gave him, but if it wasn’t, Skylar is his name now, only because I forgot was his original name was and because I said so). Aside from reading and blogging, of course, I love to write and I also love theatre, as well. Music and weather are two huge things that interest me.

Which book made you decide that you wanted to start blogging about books?

Adultolescence by Gabbie Hanna

Do you have a personal TBR list, apart from review requests? If yes, what book are you most excited to read this year?

One I am very excited to read is If They Come For Us by Fatimah Asghar, which I actually won a print copy of in a Goodreads Giveaway, so I’ll be able to read it before the release date.

When blogging, what are your must haves?

My must haves when I’m blogging are music, because I literally can’t do anything without music in the background or me humming, or singing, a song, along with a bag of chips, because I have a probably unhealthy obsession with Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream potato chips.

What is the hardest thing you’ve had to say about a book?

I don’t have an answer for this one. Since every review I write is 100% honest, I’m not scared to write anything. Not every book is for everyone, my friends.

***True story!!!***

What is one thing you wish authors knew/understood about blogging?

Being a blogger is a difficult thing to do as it is hard to maintain a blog. That being said, I don’t like when authors go around asking bloggers to promote their works. I know that they have to do it, but I like it better when an author puts out an offer for promotion and bloggers ask to be apart of it.

What is your all-time favorite book?

As weird as this is, I seriously love the book Gray by Pete Wentz. And yes, that is the same Pete Wentz that is the lead singer of the band Fall Out Boy.

Who is your go-to author when you’re stuck in a book funk?

Ellen Hopkins. Even though I give her books relatively low ratings, I seriously love her books.

Your favorite genre? Why?

My favorite genre is anything that has to do with topics such as mental health, suicide, etc. as it is something that interests me and that I have always found fascinating to read about.

What are your top 3 movies (adaptations of books or other)?

The High School Musical Trilogy (count that as one, even though it’s technically three), A Christmas Story, and The Cat in the Hat. God, my choices could not have gotten more random than that.

What are your top 3 TV series (adaptations of books or other)?

iCarly, Boy Meets World, and Hannah Montana. Wow, I’m trash.

If you had ten seconds before your house went up into flames, what would you grab?

The photo I have of meet and greet picture with Sabrina Carpenter at Show of the Summer last year since that day made me the happiest person.

Name one item on your bucket list?

To go to Hawaii.

Favorite song that you’re jammin’ to right now?

Say Amen (Saturday Night) by Panic! At The Disco. They’re one of my favorite bands and Say Amen (Saturday Night) is one of my favorite songs by them, hands down.

A book you secretly wish can be a movie/tv series and who would play the main leads?

I seriously have NO answer for this one whatsoever. I have NO idea what books would be a good movie or tv adaptation and I have NO idea who would play the main roles since I watch virtually NO tv shows or movies.

If you had aspiring blogger advice, what would it be?

Promote your blog on your Goodreads, Twitter, etc., sign up to be a host for a blog tour, do giveaways, anything to get your blog out there!

FINAL TASK: Review yourself in twenty words

I’m not the best, but I like to think I am kind and a hard-worker, not to mention funny.

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Check out Ella’s Blog  and her Goodreads Page !

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Do you want to take part in a blogger interview, or know of someone who should definitely get in on this? Feel free to email me with “Blogger Interview” in the subject line.

Interview with Book Haven Book Blog

Hey guys!

Even as an Author, when I click on a book on Goodreads or Amazon, I always look at the reviews. Mostly, I look for the bloggers’ reviews on the book.

I follow hundreds of bloggers on social media and one thing is always common, their continuous support for all authors out there. In reality, we are all strangers to each other, yet when a reader or blogger picks up a book–they are suddenly submerged into a world that the author created.

The bond is formed and the deal is done.

You are forever a part of each other’s lives.

Let’s get to know them, shall we?

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Today, I have Erika Panfile from Book Haven Book Blog, who was kind enough to answer a few questions!

Who’s behind the keyboard? Tell us a little about yourself.

My name is Erika (Budd) Panfile. I’m a wife of 15 years with two littles: girl is 11 and boy is 5. I have a blue tick coonhound to round out the circus. I work full time as a Benefits Analyst and began blogging about 2 years ago after reviewing as a reader for about 6 months prior to that. I also have my little reviewing Army behind me that keep me sane and support our blog so much. Nicole, Christina, Carolyn, Belinda, and Stina are rockstars!!

***Hello to the other members of BHBB!!!***

Which book made you decide that you wanted to blog about books?

Actually, the blog was started by the owner, Amanda, and I was reviewing for her at the time when she asked if I wanted to run it for her, the rest is history. She has been amazing at letting me do whatever I want, even if I have no clue what I’m doing. Although, one of my very first reviews was for Jordan Marie’s Devil’s Blaze MC Series, and I’m still telling people they need to read that one.

Do you have a personal TBR (list apart from review requests)? If yes, what book are you most excited to read this year?

Of course!! I try to read a mix of PR sign ups, direct review requests, ARC’s from my Authors, and a few that I one-click throughout the month. Of course there’s always the “Here read this” pile from my amazing Blogger and Reader friends. I don’t remember off hand when it comes out, but I’m salivating for when Flip Trick by Amo Jones comes out!!

***Damn! That cover though!***

When blogging, what are your “must haves” (food, music, junk, naked men)?

I blog in spurts, so in the morning there needs to be coffee so I can see straight, and it really depends on the day. There’s something different happening on the blog each day. Having two kids and a full time job, it’s hard to find balance and original content, but I try to share what I want to read and have already read and loved, along with what my reviewers are reading as well.

What is the hardest thing you had to say about a book?

I always find it difficult to review a new Author (either brand spanking new or new to me) because I don’t want them to be discouraged if the story didn’t blow me away. It rarely happens that I don’t like something, but when it does, I try to be as helpful and kind as I can be.

What is the one thing you wish authors knew/understood about blogging?

I guess the biggest thing for me is the time and the energy that goes into running a blog our size, a group, reviewing, and just keeping up. Maybe not necessarily the Authors, but random share requests being sent from all directions can sometimes feel overwhelming to us. I’m a big fan of encouraging emailed review requests, putting share requests in our daily pimp posts, requesting takeovers in the group via email, anything that makes it easier. It’s just me that’s answering them, so it can be a bit much.

What is your all-time favorite book?

That has to be the hardest question on the planet, but we’ll go with my favorite since 5th grade. I have read Stephen King’s IT pretty much every summer since I was 11 and never get tired of it.

Who is your go to author when you are stuck in a book funk?

I have a few, actually too many Authors that maybe I spread myself thin at times. Honestly? The amount of talent in the indie world is astounding, just saying. You can never go wrong with L.J. Shen, Amo Jones, Jordan Marie, Ashley Jade, and I could rattle you off a ton of amazing Authors that I’ve enjoyed since I’ve started. I love when people talk books with me!!

Your favorite genre? Why?

I’m a sucker for Mafia Romance, it has always been one of my favorites, but I’m convinced I will pretty much read most genres. There’s just something about Mafia… a bad-boy with power brought to his knees for the woman he loves that gets me….

***Siiiiigh!!! Agreed.***

What are your top 3 Movies (adaptations of books or other)?

The Breakfast Club

Halloween-Rob Zombie Version

Friday

What are your top 3 TV Series (adaptations of books or other)?

Riverdale

13 Reasons Why

Blue Bloods

If you had 10 seconds before your house went up in flames, what is the first thing you’d grab?

After my family, I would grab my Mom’s jewelry box with all her jewelry to be handed down to my daughter. Now that she’s gone, it’s become so important to have that to pass along.

***DUDE!!! Riverdale is life!!!***

Name one item on your bucket list?

A kid-less vacation to a tropical place with the hubs…so ready for that.

Favorite song that you’re jammin’ to right now.

I have “My Everything” by Kane Brown as my ringtone right now.

A book you secretly wish can be a movie/tv series and who would play the main leads?

I just read Melissa Toppen’s Tequila Duet and told her in no uncertain terms that it needed to become a movie STAT. The 1st book just released and the second comes out in the next few weeks and it was phenomenal!! The main leads, if it was a movie, would be Theo James as Hudson and Olivia Holt as Lennon. It needs to happen, lol. A must read duet by the way. (HINT)

If you had to give an aspiring blogger advice, what would it be?

Be kind, but don’t be afraid to say no. Watch out for burn out. Keep it fun, and do what you can. Let your love for books shine through.

Review yourself in twenty words.

Overly tired hot-mess Mom who wants to read every book on the planet in her pajamas while drinking coffee.

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Thank you, Erika for taking the time and letting us get to know you. I know I have a few new reads added to my TBR! Also, Kane Brown’s song is so soothing. Amazing.

A note from moi: I came across Book Haven Book Blog when I was trying to make some noise about The Wreck of Our Hearts.  Book Haven Book Blog is one of the many blogs out there that put up statuses on Facebook every single day, and thereafter, share the links.

For newbie and unknown authors like me, this was a blessing because even if one person shares your release it is such a help. I guess that was why I wanted to do this.

I’m glad that I approached BHBB, and I hope you all take a look at their social media.

You can find Erika and her gang on these platforms:

FACEBOOK PAGE

FACEBOOK GROUP

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

GOODREADS

WEBSITE

Her preferred method of contact is e-mail at bookhavenbookblog@gmail.com

 

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Do you want to take part in a blogger interview, or know of someone who should definitely get in on this? Feel free to email me with “Blogger Interview” in the subject line.

 

¸.•´¸.•*´¨✯ ¸.•*¨!!! THE WRECK OF OUR HEARTS IS LIVE !!!✮ ¸.•´✶¸.•*´¨✯¸.•*´¨

Title: The Wreck of Our Hearts
Genre: Contemporary Romance
US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BTYC5DC
UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07BTYC5DC

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/…/37585293-the-wreck-of-our-hearts

Excerpt: https://yajnaramnath.com/the-wreck-of-our-hearts-chapter-o…/

Author Social Media Links: https://linktr.ee/authoryajna

Synopsis: Dasher and Aria.

Two people who were broken down by life.
Two people whose default setting was self-destruction.
Two people who were betrayed by the ones they loved.
Two people who refrain from crossing the lines they know they shouldn’t.

Aria has spent the last year trying very hard to get over the guy who crushed her heart. While the world thinks that she is being dramatic, Aria cannot escape from the heartache that haunts her like a ghost.

Dasher has spent two years trying to get over the death of someone who meant the world to him. While his family thinks that it is high time he move on and stop acting out, Dasher cannot escape the emptiness he feels where the one he loved should be.

On a dark night in the middle of Brooklyn Bridge, an accident brings both these broken souls together. They form a pact to hold each other up, no judgments, no questions.

But love is a fickle beast that creeps up on even the most unsuited couples. Aria and Dasher think they have moved past the insecurities and the drama, but fate has other plans.

Aria and Dasher…

Two people who were better off not meeting.

Or so they thought…

The Wreck of Our Hearts – Chapter One

Title: The Wreck of Our Hearts:
Release Date: 5 May 2018
Genre: Contemporary Romance
 
Synopsis: Dasher and Aria.
 
Two people who were broken down by life.
Two people whose default setting was self-destruction.
Two people who were betrayed by the ones they loved.
Two people who refrain from crossing the lines they know they shouldn’t.
 
Aria has spent the last year trying very hard to get over the guy who crushed her heart. While the world thinks that she is being dramatic, Aria cannot escape from the heartache that haunts her like a ghost.
 
Dasher has spent two years trying to get over the death of someone who meant the world to him. While his family thinks that it is high time he move on and stop acting out, Dasher cannot escape the emptiness he feels where the one he loved should be.
 
On a dark night in the middle of Brooklyn Bridge, an accident brings both these broken souls together. They form a pact to hold each other up, no judgments, no questions.
 
But love is a fickle beast that creeps up on even the most unsuited couples. Aria and Dasher think they have moved past the insecurities and the drama, but fate has other plans.
 
Aria and Dasher…
 
Two people who were better off not meeting.
 
Or so they thought…

Chapter One

Aria

 

“Have you ever felt pain so immense that you literally felt your heart crack?” I asked no one in particular. Well, obviously I couldn’t ask anyone because I stood in the center of the Brooklyn Bridge and watched random cars honk as they zoomed past me.

The tattered hem of my jeans dragged against the cold wet tar, my jacket was long gone, and my makeup dried against my face from the tears and the rain that had stopped half an hour ago. I was a mess to put it lightly.

You can’t go with me where I’m going…

All this waiting is blindly optimistic and naïve…

I love you enough to be truthful with you…

I love you…

Maybe we should continue as we were and see where this takes us at the end of the year…

I tried to shake off the battering of his words from my head. I hated him more than I had ever hated anyone. I knew I hated him in that moment even while every part of me still screamed out how much I wanted to convince him that I was the better choice. I wanted to prove to him that no one could love him the way I have.

It didn’t matter to him though, did it?

He knew what he wanted all along. I was just the challenge that he accepted and completed. I was nothing now. He always had a plan.

My life is going a certain way…

I was good with that. I was good with him ending things all those months ago. He decided that he wanted to continue trying. He decided to talk to me every day even when I ignored him. He used his words to flatter me even when I tried to steer it into a joke. He kept at it. He pretended as if nothing had changed, and I… believed him.

I was such a stupid idiot. I was a fucking idiot. I was all the words that were associated with the words fool, idiot and naïve. He was right in that respect. I was so fucking naïve. I saw all the signs. My friends saw all the signs and even my family saw it.

All this waiting is naïve and blindly optimistic…

I refused to see it.

I glared down at the sparkling black water below me, the bridge was lit, and the sky had cleared from the passing storm.

If you think you know where this is going, don’t fret yourself. I was not going to throw myself from the bridge for a coward who had no fucking balls to break up with me before moving on to his next. No. if I did throw myself off, it was going to be because I realized I was a failure.

At twenty-five, I had nothing to show for my life. Not like other people my age had. I was still struggling to make my rent, even though my parents would never hesitate to help me. I was still working a boring nine-to-five job, even though I had the degree to get something within my field of expertise.

I no longer had a nine-to-five job because I had a mental breakdown at work and ended up swearing at a colleague. I should have stayed and explained myself. I should have been honest with my boss and told her the truth that I was going through a mental and physically emotional breakdown. Instead, I decided to take my bags and leave. I was incredibly tired of being the slapping boy in that place.

I had no idea what I was going to do. I had no idea which way to turn. I lost everything. In my head, I was crumbling and all alone.

Yes, I knew there were people I could call and who would help me within seconds. Yet, we all have those moments of self-pity. To be honest, even when we have a team of people willing to see us through our hardest times, there are still things we reserve to go through all by ourselves.

This happens to be one of those things. I mostly did not want to share this with anyone because everyone and their dog had warned me about Holden. Everyone, even my parents who had never met him, had told me that there was something wrong in the way he treated me.

I believed in a telephonic relationship for the last three years with the optimism that everything was going to work out the way we had planned it. I was holding on to the fact that one day he and I were going to fulfill the future he often spoke to me about.

I thought twenty-seven-year-olds were done with playing games.

I should’ve known though. I saw it in his behavior. He liked the idea of having complete control over a person’s mind and body. He enjoyed the fact that he changed me from the strong person I was into a sniveling broken doll.

My reservations and aloof nature intrigued him. He couldn’t believe someone was as closed off as I was. Then he decided to gut me and change it all. He decided that I needed to express myself more. He made me believe that he would always be there for me.

Realizing that this was not in any way helping my state of mind and that if I thought anymore about the situation I may just really jump off, I turned around to head back home. Walking around like a lost soul on the bridge was just me asking to get robbed, raped or a combination of the both. I’m pretty sure Brooklyn was only made to be safe on tv. I took one step off the pavement and not ten feet away from me I watched my life take a turn I never saw coming.

A black Audi TT raced down the wrong side of the road while a smaller car which looked to be a KIA, or something swerved to avoid it. The small car was no match for the 420 horsepower under the hood of the black beast.

The impact was thunderous. The tiny car didn’t stand a chance. It flipped over a few times before landing on its roof. I started running even as the other cars stopped to avoid contributing to the collision. My bare feet slapped against the cold tar as I watched two people pull a surprisingly uninjured woman out of the small car.

I hesitated for a second before I took off towards the TT which was stationary at an angle with smoke wafting from the bonnet. The tire tracks are something I would always remember from that night.

I grabbed the handle of the driver’s side and gasped as the driver’s body fell out.

His forehead was bloody, and his eyes were fluttering open. I tried to hold up his massive frame, but I was too weak to even try.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Stay with me.”

His eyes popped open at my voice and bright green pupils surrounded by bloodshot veins stared up at me in a dazed and confused wonder. “Emma?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m… I’m Aria…”

He frowned at me. I was pretty sure it was from the pain or the confusion going on in his head, or maybe it was because I wasn’t Emma.

“Story of my fucking life,” I muttered. “I’m never the one people are looking for.”

He chuckled slowly. “Don’t worry, I’m not that person either.”

I shake my head. “You almost cost someone their life and nearly ended yours at the same time, now isn’t the time for humor.”

“I hope the other person is okay,” he said in a gruff voice.

“Surprisingly,” I said as I pushed away a lock of matted hair off his forehead. “She seems to be fine, not her car though.”

“If I make it out alive, promise to make me regret every moment of it.”

“That is a strange promise to ask of a stranger,” I raised my brows down at him.

“You’re not a stranger,” he protested. “You are Aria.”

“Ma’am,” a voice interrupted our bizarre conversation.

I looked up to find a paramedic standing above me with a clipboard. “Finally, he is conscious… sort of.”

“We will have a look at him now ma’am,” the paramedic smiled at me with a look of compassion.

“Make your promise, Aria,” the driver shouted from the passenger seat as a team of paramedics swarmed around him to put him onto a stretcher.

I shake my head at him. “I’ve recently learned that promises are meant to be broken.”  With a few minutes of silence from his side and a hesitation from my side, I shouted out, “I promise.”

Dasher

“So, which part of you thought it was a brilliant idea to drive on the wrong side of the road, Dasher?” my mother’s angered voice grated on my nerves.

My head felt like someone took a club to it a few hundred times. “Neither part of me, mother. I looked away to reach for my phone and had no idea I veered to the wrong side of the road.”

Partially true.

My mother’s long dark hair looked just as angry as her face did while my older brother’s disapproval filtered through the room like smoke from a cigarette.

“Speak, Travis,” I sighed. “You obviously have a lot to say to me.”

“I actually don’t know what to say,” he gritted at me with disapproving brown eyes. Travis had the ability to make a person shiver and shake where they stood, right now, he made me feel like I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

“That’s a change,” I raised my brows and looked at my fuming mother. “Look, the lady is fine, her car is banged up and my insurance will cover for it. The Audi also survived so there is no stress.”

“No stress?” my mother screeched loud enough for the busy hallway outside to quiet down. Fuck. “You could’ve killed someone or yourself for that matter. You could have caused irreparable damage! You had a stroke of luck. This behavior has to stop, Dasher!”

I held myself straight and ran my fingers through my dark hair. I knew this lecture.  I received it many times over the last two years. They always threatened to sort me out or teach me a lesson. It never came though.

Apparently, not until today.

“We’ve decided that you have been too reckless, and you take our threats, so to speak, lightly,” Travis ran his hand through his blonde hair with frustration. His lean physique was probably half the size of my body, but what he lacked in size, he made up for in being the media mogul of New York. He was David Camden’s right hand. I hated that bastard. Both of them.

“Trav,” I frowned. “What are you saying right now?”

“I’m saying that you are cut off,” he glared at me. “You have been living off the strength of this family for too long.”

“I don’t take a cent from you!” I shouted.

“I’m not talking about money, Dash,” he shook his head. “I’m talking about the support you seem to take for granted.”

“What fucking support do I take for granted?” I seethed. “I’m trying, okay! I’m fucking trying!”

“It has been two years,” my mother answered from my bedside. “Two years too long.”

“You can’t just get over the death of your family with a snap of your fingers,” I snapped mine for emphasis. “Even you cannot be that cruel.”

“At some point you have to realize that being sad or grieving does not have to result in you being physically harmful to yourself or others for that matter.”

I clenched my jaw in frustration. They did not get it. “So, what do you plan on doing with me?”

“You need a rehabilitation center or even a therapist at least,” my mother’s eyes pleaded with me.

“I need the two of you to leave me alone right now,” my usually soft and lilting voice was gruff and filled with anger.

“Dasher—”

I squeezed my eyes shut like the pussy that I am, and I shouted, “Get the fuck out!”

I kept my eyes closed as they left. I felt my mother lay a kiss on my forehead, and whisper how much she wishes I would understand why they’re doing what they’re doing.

How was I supposed to ignore what they were doing or understand for that matter? Two years or ten… there was no way you could get over death. I’ve been a ticking timebomb in their eyes. I couldn’t understand how neither of them got it. My mother was a heartless bitch, that I had come to accept in the last twenty-five years, but Travis? Travis seemed worse than he was two years ago.

“Knock, knock?”

I glanced up at the doorway, ready to swear the nurse, only to find a very familiar and attractive blonde. “Can I help you?”

Her brows rose as she sucked in her bottom lip in obvious embarrassment. “Wow, I’m gonna try not to take that as an insult.”

“I’m sorry …” I trailed off watching as her very pouty lips stretched out into a seductive smile. I don’t think she did it on purpose. I think her face was naturally that way. “I have no idea who you are.”

“I’m Aria Thorne,” she smiled with a shrug as she awkwardly put down the bouquet of white roses on the breakfast tray.  “I guess I found you after the accident.”

I drew blanks so instead I said, “I’m Dasher Camden, nice to meet you.”

She grinned as if she caught on to my failure of a play along. “So, I was coming in and heard the lecture, maybe I should?” she gestured with her thumb at the door.

“Nah,” I shook my head. “I’d rather have company that cannot judge.”

“Not in the mood for someone who knows you but really doesn’t?” she muttered. “Especially when they presume to know you better than what you know yourself?”

“Same issues,” I said more than asked.

“Not same issues,” she laughed. It really transformed her gorgeous face. “But same ways of dealing I guess?”

“You mean the self-destructive way of dealing?” I gave her a skeptical look.

“That’s the one,” she sat at the corner of my bed and took in everything before her. “So… what are your plans? From the scene I walked in on, I would assume you’re on the defensive now?”

I watched her with a fascination that I had not had in anyone else. It wasn’t lust or love or anything remotely romantic. It was appreciation for how real this woman was. It was as if she knew exactly what I felt, probably, she did. In just a few minutes a complete stranger understood my head space, when for the last couple years my family couldn’t grasp my reasons for behaving the way I did.

“What did you do when you went on the defensive?”

She laughed. “I’m still on the defensive.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and winced when my fingers got tangled in it. “I first need to find a place to stay. I don’t think I could bear the disappointment of my family right now.”

“Did they kick you out while you were still in hospital?” she asked with no judgment, just a lot of confusion.

“Yeah, almost killing someone or myself for that matter seemed to have pissed them off,” I shrugged.

“Well, yeah,” she rolled her eyes, she already felt more familiar to me. “What are you going to do about living arrangements? Want me to help you out?”

“No,” I smiled. “Don’t get tangled up in my shit. Hopefully the doctors are going to keep me for a day or two, so I can get a call to one of my buddies.”

“Hate to break it to you, pretty boy, but they’re signing your discharge papers out there.”

Fuck. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose to calm myself down before I completely lost it. I needed to call Parker or Clay and see whether they could put me up for a bit.

“I’ll figure it out,” I finally said.

Aria nodded in understanding as she took my features in. Once again there was nothing romantic about it. I clenched the coarse hospital blanket in my fist to keep from checking whether I still had a cock. Maybe the accident broke it or something. The woman was stunning, a little on the skinny side, but she was attractive nonetheless.

“You could stay with me,” she said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry,” I blinked. “What?”

She tilted her head to the side with an amused smirk on her face. “Your responses are making me feel really loved right now.”

I chuckled uncomfortably. “We don’t know each other.”

“We do know each other,” she said incredulously. “You’re Dasher!”

I frowned and wondered what that was supposed to mean. Her face once again caught on to my lack of ability to pretend.

“Besides,” she continued. “Do I know you any better than the people around you do?”

Impulsivity was my strongest suit. I knew this was a bad idea. This girl was a stranger to me. Her bright blue eyes told stories of pain and sadness.

I watched her until I noticed her become visibly uncomfortable and finally said. “Okay, Aria.”

 

 

The Wreck of our Hearts

Synopsis: Dasher and Aria.

Two people who were broken down by life.
Two people whose default setting was self-destruction.
Two people who were betrayed by the ones they loved.
Two people who refrain from crossing the lines they know they shouldn’t.

Aria has spent the last year trying very hard to get over the guy who crushed her heart. While the world thinks that she is being dramatic, Aria cannot escape from the heartache that haunts her like a ghost.

Dasher has spent two years trying to get over the death of someone who meant the world to him. While his family thinks that it is high time he move on and stop acting out, Dasher cannot escape the emptiness he feels where the one he loved should be.

On a dark night in the middle of Brooklyn Bridge, an accident brings both these broken souls together. They form a pact to hold each other up, no judgments, no questions.

But love is a fickle beast that creeps up on even the most unsuited couples. Aria and Dasher think they have moved past the insecurities and the drama, but fate has other plans.

Aria and Dasher… 

Two people who were better off not meeting.

Or so they thought…

Goodreads TBR

(please note that the following content is copyright@yajnaramnath2017)

A note from Dasher to Holden

It was exciting wasn’t it? That first time you spoke to her. She was refreshing. She was different from the others.

She was not thrilled by your charms. She did not agree with your opinions. Her innuendos and humor rivaled your own. Your trust fund and career goals did not make her wet. Neither did the fact that you visited exotic countries.

She was never emotional and she did not react.

You didn’t know it at the time but you had accepted an unspoken challenge.

You see, you wanted a certain type of partner, someone who would match your ambitions. There was nothing wrong with that, you should’ve just left her alone.

She was the girl who had closed herself off from emotion. Her dark past was something that she didn’t want to face ever again.

But you wanted her, didn’t you? You unknowingly wanted to make the rock that served as a heart, beat for the first time in years.

So you integrated yourself into her life. You were the first person she spoke to in the morning and your wishes of sinful dreams were the last thing she saw before she fell asleep.

There were so many words she’d have rather left unsaid. There was so much about her past she’d rather she kept to herself.

But you couldn’t let her do that, could you? You believed you genuinely cared about her. You believed that you genuinely saw a future with her and so you told her that. You uttered those three cursed words and showed her your dreams and goals with her by your side.

She believed.

Fast forward two years and suddenly she isn't what you want anymore. The attractive girl with the heart of stone and the mouth to rival a sailor, no longer existed. She was everything a girl in love needed to be. She molded herself to your liking and she aligned her future with yours.

She held on no matter how badly you treated her.

Then you realized that you wanted what you wanted all along—the girl that matched your future. The girl you had always wanted before her.

You didn’t know how to leave her though, did you?

You tried the harshest of words and you would’ve succeeded in losing her too.

You are blindly naïve and optimistic. 

Girls like you, trying to get attention, is extremely tacky and it puts me off to be honest. 

You cannot go where I am going. 

She would’ve hurt for a little bit but she would’ve moved on, had you been honest with her.  You could’ve skipped the insults and you could’ve told her the truth. You could’ve admitted that you found someone else and that it had nothing to do with her.

She would have understood. She loved you enough to let you go.

But you followed up every insult with words of hope.

I love you enough to tell you the truth. 

If I saw you with anyone it would kill me. 

My heart is breaking. 

Maybe we should continue as we are and see where it all takes us. 

And she believed in you, because that’s what you always convinced her to do. You used pretty words and topped it with empty promises and she fell for it like a kid seeing Santa.

You flirted, as if it were normal. You texted, as if it were normal. You sent photos, as if it were normal. She believed you were back together, because you were normal.

Four months later, she gets a call from a friend, the one you never liked. She was told to log onto social media because there was something she needed to see.

It wasn’t just for her to see, but for the entire world. The same world you had hidden her existence from, now knew that you were happily in love with someone else. She read the comments of people congratulating you, and telling you how happy they were that you finally found someone.

So what was she for those three years?

All you had to do was tell her the truth. All you had to do was say that you were not feeling the relationship anymore, without empty promises or a hopeful maybe. Instead, the girl who had a heart of stone had no idea what to do when it broke.

You solidified the fact that everyone in her life is bound to leave her. You cemented the fact that every bad thing that ever happened to her was because of love. You ensured that she will always feel inadequate in the face of someone more accomplished.

You’re out there somewhere with your arms wrapped around your happily ever after, laughing genuinely and preparing for a future filled with possibilities.

She out there too, alone, never trusting and never believing. She’s putting on a fake smile and dancing with strangers.

While you have your vows and promises of forever, she leaves before she can get left.

While you will always have hope and optimism, she will always be cynical.

She doesn’t know it, but someone is out there. Someone who values everything she had offered you. Someone who would treat her the way you should’ve.

My only hope is that she recognizes it before she destroys me the way you destroyed her. My only hope is that she doesn’t break me, the way you broke her.

To the person in the crowd…

I don’t know you, and maybe you don’t know me. I will tell you this though:

It’s okay.

I know you feel alone even in a crowd of people.
I know that sometimes even when you have a horde of loved ones ready to listen or ready to help, you still feel helpless.
I know that sometimes despite the fact that you have more than what others do, you still want more.
I know that even though you won’t admit it out loud, you envy those around you. You want what they have.
I know that sometimes even though you have travelled the world, coming home seems to be the only thing that makes sense, even when the house is empty.
I know that you hate the shell they see. I know you want someone to see past all that. You want someone who is going to look behind the physical appearance and the lavish lifestyle. You want genuine people.

You want someone who knows that sometimes you listen to sad, romantic music because it soothes you.
You want someone who accepts that there are things you have been through, too.
You want someone to feel your excitement when you find that album you were looking for.
You want someone who is going to sit with you all night watching mindless TV.
You want someone who values what you have to say, even when it may not be the best advice.
You want someone who is okay with you spending all day in bed without even hopping into the shower.
You want someone who sees past the white lies.

I know this because, although I may not be in your lifestyle, I have watched you. I have seen behind the practiced smile and the filtered group photos. I read between the lines of your inspirational quotes. I know that you surround yourself with so many people because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that if those people were not there, you’d be completely alone. I know you don’t want people thinking that you, you the coolest kid in the group, pines for epic love. I know that sometimes it is hard to breathe around the noose you tied around your neck, the noose of the image you decided to show people.

I know.

But, it’s okay.

You will get through this. You will get through it the day you decide to stop living in fear of their opinions and start living in honor of your true self. I know that you are expected to have a certain way about your life. You are expected to be with a certain type of people. You are expected to do the things that make everyone else around you proud.

But, it’s okay.

Farewell, from the one you’re expected to ignore.

Judge me for my looks, I dare you …

I read something the other day that pissed me off to no end. Probably because it hit so close to home, but mostly because as someone who regularly endures it, I feel strongly about it.

An actress from an Indian Drama Television series that I watch, was body shamed for being too skinny in an Instagram post. I stopped for a second and though to myself, how is calling someone skinny an different from calling someone fat? Why must we be careful about referring to curvy, over-weight, or healthy as”fat” and yet no one hesitates to say things like this:

 

How is it okay to call someone skinny, yet it is body-shaming and rude to call someone fat?

On many occasions, fuller girls thought it was funny to look at my chest and ask “why there’s so little there?” I laughed along with them, but deep inside I felt so self-conscious. I felt like I needed to go out and buy over-sized shirts just so that no one would noticed. At the time they may have thought that it was a joke, they may have thought that they were comfortable enough with me to pick on my body–but inside, the self-conscious part of me and the part of me who is so clued up in what society deems “natural” or “acceptable”–that part of me shriveled up inside.

When I laugh, my two front teeth stick out, I have seen many people look at one an another at that precise moment and try to control their laughter at the sight.

When I wear short sleeves or ankle jeans, the scars of my psoriasis show and I know people can’t help but stare.

When I wear clothes, I sometimes have to shop in the kiddies section to find the ones that fit me perfectly.

As for bras… let’s not even go there.

The point is that we live in a world where they tell you to be who you are and accept that we are all beautiful, but no one is willing to do it. This has gone on for years. Initially, it was that everyone wanted to be thin. Now, everyone wants to be hourglass perfection.

Why can’t we be whatever we want to be at any given time?

I have long since given up feeling bad or trying to change the way it affects me when people talk about my body or look at me with a strange look. I guess one day it won’t bother me so much.

All I can do is hope that one day it will be socially acceptable for me to be naturally thin and not have the world around me look at me as if I have an eating disorder.

 

copyright@yajnaramnath2017