The groom tried to dip the bride, they held the pose for exactly ten seconds in which I managed to get two shots, before they tripped and fell to the sand in a fit of laughter. I rolled my eyes and continued snapping images as they continued to do their own thing. It made for genuine photographs for their album, after all, that was what I was hired to do.

Mackenna fucking Kane became a photographer for hire. I pushed my long dark hair behind my ears as I bent low and tried to get an image of the couple under the blaze of the sun. The wedding was something out of a bad romance movie complete with flower archways and draped chairs.

I never understood why people chose beaches for weddings. All that sand in the eyes, food and of course, the saltwater in the hair. It seemed to escape me completely. Couples in love. They sickened me. Sure, at one stage I was in love too. In fact, I’m supposed to still be in love.

I glanced at Elisa as she ran along the water and splashed around with the children that attended the wedding. Hennessey had some church service today and I was on Elisa duty. I decided that taking her with me to the wedding would keep her occupied enough.

Things between Hennessey and me changed a lot over the last couple of years. As Elisa got older, I found that Hennessey was more invested in the child than she was in whatever we were supposed to be. The worst part was that our past seemed to come up a lot. Even though I had given everything up for her two years ago.

I sat at my computer and watched as Elias had his head bowed. There was something in his hand. I couldn’t zoom in, but it seemed like a photograph. He spent ninety percent of his time staring at it. He never engaged with the nurses that came in to hand him food or medication. He never screamed that he needed to be let out. He never moved unless it was from the bed to the bathroom or the common room.

His dark hair stood up on all ends and was much longer now that he did not bother to keep it neat. His beard looked as if he hadn’t seen civilization for years, which technically, he didn’t. the nursing staff tried to neaten him up, but where afraid to be anywhere near him with anything sharp.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hennessey snapped from behind me.

I sighed and turned around. “I was just checking in.”

“The fuck, Mackenna?” she seethed. Her green eyes were angry, and her plump lips were pulled back over her teeth. She was mad.

“What is your problem?” I shouted.

“He is!” she pointed at the screen which only showed me Elias’s back. “You have held a torch for him since the moment the two of you met!”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I seethed. “He is in a freaking nut house, what more do you want?”

“Get rid of him!” she shrieked. It was earsplitting and painfilled.

“He’s not even part of our lives, Hennessey, why are you over-fucking-reacting?”

“Because he is!” she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and the lips that were twisted in a snarl now trembled. “Because late at night, I know you see him in your dreams. Because you spend hours in this fucking den just watching him. Because if I was not around, you’d be with him.”

I breathed in deeply and closed my eyes against her onslaught. “I am in love with you. I chose you. The person I’m having a happily-ever-after with is you.”

“So, get rid of him.”

Her pain and fear was etched in her every pore. She wanted Elias out of my life in every possible way. I walked towards her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, before grabbing Elisa’s mini baseball bat from the corner of the room.

I looked at my computers, my programmers and my cellphones… I closed my eyes and swung until every single device was shattered into tiny pieces. I expelled Elias from my life as well as everything and everyone from New York.

Hennessey wanted someone that was one hundred percent hers, this was as far as I could go.

I blinked away the memory of that day and sighed. The couple came over to thank me and after a few pleasantries, I packed away my stuff and beckoned Elisa over. Her dark hair curled into a frizzy mess and her big blue eyes were wide with happiness. She inherited her father’s dark hair and her mother’s blue eyes. It was because of those two features that people believed she was actually my daughter. Her brows, her lips and her mannerisms were all like her father. It was the reason I hadn’t strangled her in her sleep as I wanted to many times over the last three years.

She was a reserved kid that only spoke when she was spoken to. For a three-year-old, she understood and spoked clearly. That was probably my fault considering every time she started babbling like a baby, I glared at her until she spoke articulately. Elisa was terrified of me, something Hennessey reprimanded me for on numerous occasions. Of course, I reminded her that the only reason I tolerated the child was because of her.

“Time to go,” I said.

She nodded slowly and straightened her t-shirt and shorts from their disarray. I turned on my heel and waited till she walked in front of me. I would not touch the child, but I wouldn’t have her trialing behind me for anyone to just snatch her. I didn’t want a vengeful Hennessey on my hands. That didn’t work out well for anyone involved.

The walk to the villa was a short one. In fact, everything was within walking distance from us, and if we needed anything we usually took a boat to neighboring islands. The heat was ridiculous and my head ached with a need for something strong and ice-cold to go down my throat.

The door was wide opened when we got there. I chalked it up to Hennessey feeling hot. When I got inside, the scene before me told me a different story. Elisa stepped backwards, and for the first time she stood behind me. I was too stunned to remove her hands that clutched the material of my clothes.

The villa was trashed. Vases lay shattered with water and drenched flowers on the floor. Photo frames that Hennessey hung around the place were all shattered with the photographs ripped apart. The glass coffee table was broken and drops of blood made my body suddenly cold.

“Hennessey?” I called knowing it was futile.

She was gone. No. She was taken.

I knew this because only one vase remained intact and it stood in the middle of the dinning table filled with white roses tipped with what I was sure was Hennessey’s blood. On the vase, an envelope was taped to it.

I stepped forward with Elisa trailing behind me. Her hands shook. She was scared. I couldn’t comfort her. Not when my body vibrated with rage. I plucked the envelope from its resting place. Inside were two tickets to New York and a note.

Let’s play a game, my love. Heads, I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out who this was. I slid out my phone from my back pocket and dialed a number I hadn’t reached out to in two years. It rang and rang until the voicemail picked up. That was worse, if Douglas wasn’t picking up my call, something was definitely wrong.

I grabbed the tickets and looked down at Elisa.

“Go and pack a bag,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Are we going to mommy?” she asked in a small voice.

“Yeah,” I answered. “We’re going to get your mom back.”



𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙮.

She stood at the threshold of a house that had become her home, and before her, everything lay shattered.

She thought she was ahead of the game, I mean, the psychotic woman who would do anything for the one she loved was bound to win… right?

Who did she love?

Was it me?

Was it her?

I didn’t care any longer.

In the game of cat and mouse, Mackenna Sterling thought she had won. She thought she had defeated me in her war against all odds.

I was the type of odd she didn’t see coming.

I was the collateral damage that raged an inferno in her life, after all, I learned from the best.

The tables are about to turn, my love.

I’m coming for you.

𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘓𝘪𝘯𝘬: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49122701-ttw-2

𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘦: 26 𝘑𝘜𝘕𝘌 2020


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Love is a dangerous word. 

As much as it has ended battles, it has started wars. 

As much as it has healed pain, it has caused agony. 

As much as it has ended hate, it has created loathing. 

I fell in love. A kind of love that I would live and die for. A kind of love that I would forsake who I was to obtain it. I was one of the believers until I wasn’t anymore. 

I trusted too easily, I fell too quickly, and I loved… oh, I loved too deeply. 
However, there was one thing I was excellent at…


Was I insane? Sure. Borderline psychopathic, when I didn’t take my meds. 

But it was okay…

They liked me that way. 

I smiled as I watched them hand in hand wondering what was going to happen next. 

They think it’s over. 

I laughed.

They think there’s a sense of remorse within me.

I laughed harder. 

Game on.


You’ve got my attention

The club pulsed with a beat that vibrated through my jumpsuit clad body. I regretted my decision to wear it that night. It was velvet and clung to my impressive curves in a suffocating manner. I lifted my long, dark tresses off my neck and held it up in a knot against the back of my head. My best friend Naomi was way passed drunk and had her ass plastered to the crotch of some nameless dude.

That was what our Friday nights were like. Trolling. We were from the elite side of Manhattan. We were the Breakfast at Tiffany’s, lunch at the golf estate and partying with cocaine at the Masters’ mansion types. I was a cliché. I was good with that, too. It was necessary to my cause.

Being the Sterling heiress came with certain responsibilities, like entertaining the elite and showing up when they invited you out for drinks. Drinks which ended up in one-night stands and hoping none of your indiscretions landed on Page 6.

There was someone else with an agenda that night. There was someone else who wanted to be part of the elite, he had different reasons. However, he did not realize that his agenda was going to bring him right to me. Our lives changed that night. We were both playing a game that night. We were both trying to be seen by the other on purpose. And see him, I did.

Elias Porter commanded the room. He was tall, broad and tan. His black suit and shirt looked poured onto his large body. That sinful smirk that twisted his perfectly plump lips had my own lips parting. His hair was thick and messy, a dimple in each cheek and the best part? His eyes. Those fucking eyes I would never forget, no matter what.

Those dark eyes were on me. His one hand was curled around a glass while the other was in his pocket. He sucked in his bottom lip as he took me in. I almost swayed toward his hypnotic pull. Like he was the charmer, and I was the snake. I was a snake. A snake with the type of poison that would creep through his mind, heart and blood like a vine. A snake whose bite had no cure.

He was not aware that I already knew who he was. In fact, I was pretty sure he believed that tonight was the first night we would meet. I smiled slowly and raised a brow at him. His lips parted and as soon as I held his focus, I turned my back on him.

“Girrrrl, you need to be on the dancefloor, right now!” Naomi slurred. Her dark brown skin had a sheen of sweat while her sequined dressed stuck to her sinful body.

“I’m not drunk enough,” I chuckled, removing my Vape Pen from my purse and inhaling the cotton-candy flavored smoke. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

She shrugged her shoulders and disappeared into the crowd. Naomi and I were friends out of necessity. She had connections that I needed without having to use my name and she needed my name to make other connections. I watched her latch onto the same guy again. It was quite poetic how she gravitated to the same man. The man that would be my in with Elias.

The club we were in was owned by the Masters’; Grant had inherited a trust fund on his twenty-sixth birthday, and this was what he decided to do with it. It wasn’t all that bad considering the things he had going on in the basement of the club. Of course, he was a devious motherfucker. It ran in his family blood. They were shrewd, cunning and a little tilted.

Speaking of Grant, he appeared at my side just as I was about to head out.

“Mackenna,” he greeted.

Grant was dark-haired, blue-eyed and a gorgeous piece of rugged handsomeness. If that was what you were into. His knowing gaze traced my features. He knew my games, and he played them well with me. He was dressed in a t-shirt with a giant middle finger on it and jeans that cost more than some drinks at the bar. His messy hair made messier as he ran his hands through it.

“Grant,” I raised a brow. “Do you mind? I want to get some air.”

“You can in a bit,” he stared right back at me. “What are you up to?”

I frowned. “Going outside to get air, duh.”

“I saw your eye on Porter,” he stated.

“He’s a looker,” I shrugged and made a move to leave.

He caught my arm and gripped it hard. “Whatever you’re up to, I will find out.”

“That’s fine,” I smiled slowly. “Give my love to your parents.”

I stalked along the sidelines heading to the back, ignoring the stares and the catcalls from random drunk men and women. My sole focus was to breathe. I had a rough couple of days. I had stopped fighting the demons in my head when I was a child, it was probably why I needed the quiet. They needed to speak. I thought back to Grant’s warning. It was weird how he always figured out when I was about to play a game.

Too bad he didn’t know that the game had already started. Years ago. It was a game that was going to change the course of nature.

The ice-cold January air sliced across my face as I stepped out into the snowy New York weather. It was a shock to my system. Almost as if I was in two different worlds. Where I felt hot and sticky inside, I now thanked my lucky stars that this velvet was thick.

I forwent my Vape Pen and instead pulled out a pack of smokes. I lit the cherry flavored cigarette and took a long hard drag. I laid my head against the brick wall and exhaled, pretending it was all my sins and troubles that were being released into the air.

It would take a lot more than that to overcome all the things I had done in my life.

“You disappeared on me,” a deep voice vibrated through my body.

I opened my eyes and slid them to the side and found the suit. Elias was gorgeous up close. The disheveled sandy brown hair had streaks of gold in them, his eyes were dark and piercing, and his body looked like something out of a romance novel. Maybe more like that guy from the porn flick I watched the night before.

“I had no idea I was around for you,” I said in a monotone. I took another drag of my cigarette and blew out the smoke faster this time. “Is there a reason you’re disturbing my peace?”

He looked taken aback. Obviously, he thought he held my attention earlier and was trying to use that to his advantage. Unfortunately, to hold someone’s attention, you had to pretend as if they did not have yours. It got them riled up. They saw a challenge and would not stop until they have won it.

“I saw you inside thought we had a moment in there,” he shrugged.

“Don’t flatter yourself, darling. You’re wearing a suit to a nightclub,” I laughed. “I was just trying to figure out what that was all about.”

He shrugged. “The suit works.”


“Well, I stand out, in a club full of ripped jeans and baggy t-shirts, I’m the sophisticated one that has a woman looking twice,” he straightened his thin silver tie.

I was impressed with how unabashedly he said that. The glint in his eye told me that he had no care how it made him sound. There was a take me as I am, or I’ll find someone else quality to him.

I turned toward him. “Well, you have all of my attention, what will you do with it?”

“I would start by introducing myself,” he held out his hand. “Eli.”

I placed my hand in his and felt an immediate connection that almost scared but intrigued me. “Kenna.”

He stared at me for a few seconds while I sucked on the cancer stick. He knew who I was. There was no way he hadn’t come across me before. I was interested to see how he played this out though.

“That’s a bad habit you know,” he said lightly as he came to stand opposite me, mimicking my stance by leaning against the opposite brick wall.

“So I’ve heard,” I chuckled and sucked harder on the cigarette. “We all have a vice.”

“Where are you from, Kenna?” he asked as he loosened his tie.

“Upper East Side,” I shrugged, stubbing out the cigarette. “You?”

“Same,” he frowned. “How is it that we haven’t met before?”

I raised a brow. “I have no idea. What is it that you do?”

“I’m an investment banker, junior for now,” he said with confidence. “What are you into?”

“I’m a software engineer.”

He raised his brows in astonishment. I got that a lot. No one believed a spoiled rich bitch like me could actually have some sense of intelligence, let alone being able to code and decode programs. Of course, Eli wouldn’t let on that he knew the extent of me being rich. His perfect portrayal of intrigue and lust gripped me by the throat. I wouldn’t even mention my ability to create gadgets. Which reminded me, I needed to check in on my latest attempt at creating my own spy cam.

“Are you passionate about that?” he asked, genuinely interested. I would look back at this day in the future and wonder, if only he was just a man, and I was just a woman, this meeting would signal the start of a romance. This here? This was a start of a war.

“Nah,” I shook my head. “I’m actually a photography buff. If there was a choice, I would choose that.”

Elias nodded slowly. “I get it. I’ve loved the idea of working on Wall Street since I was a teenager and saw the way these men in suits all held the power. It lit a fire inside me.”

I smiled, enjoying the passion in his voice. His eyes lit up and the smile that twisted those perfect lips made him all the more attractive. I walked away from my end towards him putting an extra sway to my hips. He stood up straighter as I approached him. I stopped only when the front of my body was pressed against the front of his. I had to look up at him, he was at least a foot taller than me.

“I think we’ve chatted enough for the night; don’t you think?” I asked him on a breathy voice.

Elias lowered his nose to my hair and inhaled deeply. “I think you’re right.”

I raised my face and touched my lips to his. He responded by capturing mine and taking charge of them. He kissed me deeply. His tongue dueled with mine. I was right that this was a beginning of a war. We were fighting a war. A war of attraction. Lust burned and pooled between my legs as his large hand traveled down my back and gripped my ass. I ground against him, well aware that my panties were now soaked and there was no way that I could take off this jumpsuit unless he was taking me back to his place or his car.

His soft lips were a contrast to the scrape of his teeth along my bottom lip and the fierce way in which he grabbed my flesh. It was as if he wanted to devour me and destroy me all at one. If one kiss ignited such a feeling between us, sex would be explosive.

I moaned deep in my throat. I wanted him. Now.


The shout of a random bouncer sprung us both apart. We glanced at the tall stocky man. “None of that here!” he pointed up, and we belatedly noticed the cameras. After a few more warnings, the bouncer headed back inside.

Spying the camera, I knew I had to hack into it later and download the footage.

We both laughed uncomfortably. Elias ran his thumb along my bottom lip. “Wanna go back in?”

I shrugged. “Looks like we’d have to.”

I felt uncomfortable as I walked because of the arousal that made my thighs sticky when they rubbed together. I hated being so worked up with no release in sight. We made it back into the club. The night wore on with us grinding against each other on the dancefloor. We drank like fish and made out sloppily in dark corners.

Elias held my attention all night, which meant that as soon as he had confirmation of who I was, I knew that too.



He leaned against the bar and watched her as she swayed her body seductively on the dancefloor. He knew it was for his benefit. After all, up until they were faced with each other outside the club, she wasn’t on the dancefloor. She wanted his attention and just like how he knew he had hers, she had his.

“The Sterling Princess, huh?” Grant Masters clapped him on the shoulder.

Eli frowned and looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“I thought you were pursuing her because you knew who she was,” Grant raised a brow.

Grant Masters was a rich bastard that owned almost half of the Upper East Side while the Sterling family owned almost all of New York. Sterling and Masters, the biggest names in the city. Eli had wanted an in with the Sterling family for years now, it was always part of his plan. The fact that the heiress herself happened to be at the same club and all over his dick, that was a bonus.

“I actually did not know that was her,” he lied with a grin. “Now that I do, she just became interesting.”

“I’d watch out if I were you,” Grant warned.

“I’m not afraid of Munro or Douglas for that matter,” he waved his hand in the air.

“Wasn’t talking about her brother or her father,” he chuckled, his dark eyes held a tinge of amusement. “I’m talking about Mackenna herself.”

Eli rolled his eyes. How bad could a woman be? He glanced at the dancefloor one more time to look at her only to find that she was no longer there. He straightened his stance and tried to see over the gyrating bodies and crowded corners. She was gone.

He took a lap around the club with no sign of her. She was an enigma. A beauty. A magician.

He found her friend, Naomi, an African American beauty with skin like caramel who was grinding up on his friend Evan. “Hey, have you seen Kenna anywhere?”

Naomi looked up drunkenly. “She left.”

Eli felt disappointed, and he clenched his jaw. He wanted to get to know her more. Now that he knew exactly who she was, he wanted to find his way into her heart and squeeze it. He wanted to be the person that she brought home in front of Munro and his wife. He wanted the Sterling heir to feel him weasel his way into their lives and destroy them all.

Like they destroyed him.

Eli sighed, got into his Mercedes and zipped into the city to reach his apartment. Hennessey was fast asleep when he stepped inside. It was three in the morning, he wasn’t supposed to be out this late, but Kenna was all he thought about that entire night. He walked towards his roommate’s room and watched as she lay there beautifully.

Her thick dark hair fanned out on the pillow, her large eyes closed in sleep and her pouty lips parted as she dreamed. He trailed his finger along her cheek. She was a reprieve from all the bad things he had to do. She was the uncomplicated beauty that held his attention while the woman he really wanted paraded around with another man.

Eli walked upstairs and into his bedroom, he stripped off the suit and stepped into the hot shower. He reflected on the day before. He tried and failed at landing a job at Sterling. It was almost as if Munro remembered him. Logically, Eli knew there was no way. He was just a punk that faced off with Munro five years earlier.

His thoughts briefly traveled to Kenna. Her thick body draped in a skintight body suit that tempted him from across the dancefloor. He had an idea that Mackenna Sterling was going to be at the club, but he had no idea what she looked like. The Sterling family were always front and center in the news but never the princess. She was always the secret that remained hidden.

Eli laid his head against the tiles of the bathroom and stared aimlessly into the water. The hot water raised the steam in the room, and it was almost as if Mackenna stood there in the mist, watching him. His lips parted, his breathing increased, and his hand reached for his cock.

He stroked his hard length, biting his teeth so that he didn’t let out the guttural groan that begged to be let past his lips. Her eyes, so wide and blue, would stare up at him while she was on her knees. Those thick plush lips would wrap around his cock and frame it perfectly. Her hot tongue which he was lucky enough to taste, would lap up every drop he released into her.

He couldn’t take it anymore and came in strings across the tiles, the water washed away his sins before he could contemplate it.

Wrapping a towel across his waist, he walked into his bedroom, ignoring the need to go downstairs into Hennessey’s room, he walked straight into his. His phone vibrated around his nightstand and he noticed Evan’s name flash across the screen.

He answered. “What’s up?”

“Munro Sterling is dead.”



Title: The Wreck of Our Hearts:
Release Date: 5 May 2018
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Synopsis: Dasher and Aria.
Two people who were broken down by life.
Two people whose default setting was self-destruction.
Two people who were betrayed by the ones they loved.
Two people who refrain from crossing the lines they know they shouldn’t.
Aria has spent the last year trying very hard to get over the guy who crushed her heart. While the world thinks that she is being dramatic, Aria cannot escape from the heartache that haunts her like a ghost.




Welcome to Dramir, a city where the blood never stops flowing

The streets of Dramir have always been protected under the rule of the reigning King. It was all because of his not so secret weapon.

A weapon they called the assassin. A weapon with long-dark hair, savage soulless eyes and a body built for sin.

She wielded a sword as one would breathe air. She danced in blood as one would dance in rain. She laughed in the face of death as one would laugh at a bad joke.

It was believed that the day the assassin experienced emotion, the world of Dramir as they knew it would crumble under the force of her shattering heart.

How could you break the heart of someone who had long since lived without one?

How could you fight against the darkness when she forced light to do her bidding?

Most importantly how could you hide, when she came looking for you?




She showed up at his doorstep at sun down.
Her hair was disheveled, her clothes torn and stained with blood.

During the late summer storm, they were helpless against the passion they were forbidden to feel.

She couldn’t leave and he couldn’t let her. All through the night she enticed him with her words. He should not have been enticed. He should not have touched his claimed lips onto her sweet, innocent ones.

He woke to the sun on his face, the screams of his wife, no recollection of the night after that kiss, and a dead girl next to him.

He knew her story, he knew her body, and he even knew her name.


Please note that this book is not suitable for those under 18 as it contains explicit situations. Sex, Rape and Abuse are all present in this book.

Continue reading “OPHELIA – CHAPTER ONE”



She is bitter.
She is angry.
She is filled with hate and envy.
She is beautiful.
She is darkness.
She. Is. MINE.

He is there.
He is caring.
He is devastating.
He. Can. NEVER. Be. Mine.

They say love heals all. We say love is toxic.
They say trust is crucial. We say trust doesn’t exist.
They say never judge others. We say judgement is all we know.

They say I should let her go. I say it’s impossible.
They say I should let him in. I say it’s impossible.



I wasn’t always a cynical bitch. There was a time in my life when I loved people and made friends easily. I loved life and lived it as any child would. The thing about being a child is that you aren’t trained to see the harshness of the world. Your little mind cannot comprehend that people are being bad to you. You chalk it up to them being different. You continuously run behind them for a little attention not realizing that they don’t want to give it to you.

I started off just like that.

At eight-years-old I didn’t know that the kids at school were laughing because I was different. I didn’t realize they laughed because they thought I was a smelly old witch with ugly scars on my face and legs. When the blood clung to my white school pants and stuck the material to my opened scabs, I didn’t know that for the rest of the school year they would naturally avoid me, leaving me to sit behind my teacher’s school desk and eat my lunch. I didn’t know why some of my family members would wash their hands after touching me or plaster themselves to the wall whenever I walked down the same hall as they did.

I didn’t realize that having a condition that I couldn’t control was the reason I could never wear the pretty pink Barbie dress but instead I had to wear corduroy pants and polo necks. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have pretty long dark hair like everyone else, why did mine have to be cut off and always untidy?

But then I understood. I understood the day I went to highschool. I felt hot and took off my jersey only to here an “eew” from the girl next to me and watch her shuffle her chair away. I understood when a guy laughed and pointed to my neck thinking I had a hickey and told the entire school I was thirteen-year-old slut coming to school with love bites. I understood the day I was changing in front of my friend during a sleepover and she gasped at the red angry sores on my body and then asked whether I minded sleeping on the couch in the lounge because she just “couldn’t manage sleeping next to anyone at night.”

I understood the first time a guy slid his hands underneath my shirt and pulled it away immediately saying, “what the fuck.” I understood the day I watched all the girls get ready for prom with their fancy dates, I watched from the crowd as every girl—except for me—who waltzed in with their beautiful ball gowns. I laid in bed that night bawling my eyes out knowing that they were out there having sex or having fun while I cuddled up in my blankets and got comforted by my parents.

I understood the day I had finally found a boyfriend in college. He treated me differently. He never looked at them as scars or ugliness. He said he loved me as I was. So why wasn’t I good enough for him to stay? Why did I find out he was with a perfectly shaped girl behind my back?

It wasn’t always bad. There were a few months in sporadic years where it wouldn’t show up at all. Sometimes I could bask in wearing t-shirts, dresses and shorts. Then there were times when the condition played games with me, never appearing in winter when I had to be bundled up, but appearing in summer when I wanted to dress like any other person out there.

What also didn’t help my cause was the fact that I was so skinny. I was called various names because of my lack of boobs during highschool. I was called an ironing board, a pole, a ruler and a stick. My two big front teeth had everyone calling me bugs bunny and beaver.

I folded into myself by the time I hit twenty-two. I started realizing that people were always going to make fun of me about something or another. Yeah, I still look the same as I did when I was fifteen. The same teeth, the same body and the same condition. The only difference is that now my face is sharper, my grey eyes are dead and full lips will never smile just for the sake of being happy.

That girl who loved too much was gone. She had a few friends that saw her through her day. She had her wonderful parents who made her feel loved and cared for. She had her fuck buddies who never disappointed her with what she wanted and what she received.

Life was good.

And then I saw him and it got fucked all the way to hell.



People have one extraordinary talent. Judgment. Labeling. Assumptions. Hypocrisy. Some do it based on what they have been through. Some do it based on opinions of others. Some do it just because they think they know everything about everyone. It is so easy to judge, every one of us do it daily in our lives. We look at a person and think that our experiences in life give us the right to make calls on their personality or profession.

I’m a DJ.

Your first image is probably a club and me on decks with tons of women at my side. You would never peg me as a guy who would settle down and if I did have a girlfriend, you would probably giggle with your friends about how you give it a few months or weeks for me to cheat on her. After all DJs are just people who play music at events and go home with whatever spreads their legs, right?

We have no background or tortured past. We don’t have feelings. We don’t mind getting cheated on. We don’t look for women that are below average.

That is all I have heard when I got into the profession at nineteen. Would I have backed out because of it? Hell to the no.

I am one of Miami’s hottest DJs right now. I have been invited to play at gigs around the world. I am currently recording a demo to send out to radio stations since my tracks on SoundCloud are picking up a lot of interest. I busted my ass to get where I am. Anything I have done to be at the height of success that I’m riding on right now? It was well worth it.

I didn’t have an ideal life. I had one of the crappiest upbringings. The whole mother-leaves-father-forgets-child-and-becomes-alcoholic thing? Yeah, I’ve been through it. I know what it is like to feel unwanted and wish everyday that you could run away. Music took me away. Whenever there was any yelling or stuff being thrown I turned up my music on my headphones. Whenever I didn’t receive the call I was waiting for, I would play around with the sounds on my audio-mix program on the laptop. Music pulled me away when I had my heart broken. Music surrounded me when I went to bed at night, when I woke up to the hot Miami sun and even when I took an afternoon stroll. Music was all around me.

Even when she punched her way through my life. Literally. She was fierce. A force to be reckoned with. She was dead inside and I wanted to be the man that brought her back to life.

The only question was how do you save someone who is way passed saving? How do you love someone when you don’t know what falling in love is like? How do you teach someone about acceptance when you don’t even know what the hell that means?

Life was good, really good until I saw her, and then? It all went to hell.

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It started out as an innocent blog. I just wanted to tell the world about my life. That was harmless right?


I didn’t realise just what I did, how many lives I destroyed and how many people I lost because of my own need to vent about my issues with men. I didn’t realise what my judgement of other’s caused. I didn’t realise watch a selfish, terrible and evil person I was.

Not until I finally had something to lose.

He came into my life like a whirlwind. He showed me passion like I’ve never known. He challenged me at every step and broke down my defences. He took a selfish girl and made her feel. But then our secrets got in the way. My inability to see him as anything different than every other guy that I had met. His aversion to giving all of him without the guarantee of receiving all of me. It was all leading up to one life altering night. One life altering moment that would make or break our future. The problem was whether or not we could find our forever.

Continue reading “LOVE IN SEATTLE – CHAPTER ONE”



A long time ago I knew that I wasn’t wanted. No one cared enough to stay. No one considered me when making decisions. No one went out of their way to make sure I was okay. No tried to dry my tears. No one checked on me to see how I was dealing with everything. Everyone only cared about how their lives were changing, how their lives were affected. I was just a child, I was supposed to listen to everything I was told. Whether I was happy or not was irrelevant. I had to feel grateful. That gratitude is what kept me quiet, that sense of guilt that if I left I would be making things worse. That gratitude and guilt which was interpreted as acceptance. After all silence is acceptance right? It didn’t matter how hard the blows were, it didn’t matter if I had bruises which everyone could see, it didn’t matter how harsh the insults were or even how deep the betrayal cut. All that mattered was that I remember how much of pain and sacrifices the grown-ups made for me. How much pain my mother endured. How much money my father spent. That was all that mattered. I took every hand that was dealt. Eventually I was strong, not strong enough to fight back, but strong enough to finally leave. To go out and experience life no matter how hard it would be. To accept that I deserve happiness. I deserve love. And someday someone would be Worthy of Me.

Continue reading “WORTHY OF ME – CHAPTER ONE”



For Nina being rich wasn’t a chore… it was epic. She never had to worry about mundane things like making a living, going to school and taking a taxi. But that’s about to change. After a car crash that almost has her killing innocent people, Nina’s parents decide to send her to – gasp! – College. She hates it and cannot stand the idea of having to walk among people that despise her. Adam Keller grew up with the phrase ‘earn your pleasures’ so when spoilt brat Nina Jordan walks into his life, he cannot stand her and the aloof personality she brings with her. However attraction is a shitty thing. Nina and Adam are soon forced into a situation that has both of them questioning their beliefs suddenly the idea of falling in love and dealing with conflicting personalities isn’t the big issue – it’s something far darker. Will Adam find himself Accepting Nina?




Skylar Reed believed that in order to move forward you had to block out your past, pretend it wasn’t there and a new life would automatically fall into place. Meeting Kian Kane made her think that it was definitely true. Life with him is passionate, erotic and fun. He is easy-going and loves her. She loves him. But the past doesn’t stay hidden. Join these two lovers as they learn about sacrifice, trust, and love. Skylar will have to learn about facing her past whilst Kian is going to learn that beauty is only skin deep. He has to learn to see Beneath Her Beautiful.