I read something the other day that pissed me off to no end. Probably because it hit so close to home, but mostly because as someone who regularly endures it, I feel strongly about it.
An actress from an Indian Drama Television series that I watch, was body shamed for being too skinny in an Instagram post. I stopped for a second and though to myself, how is calling someone skinny an different from calling someone fat? Why must we be careful about referring to curvy, over-weight, or healthy as”fat” and yet no one hesitates to say things like this:
How is it okay to call someone skinny, yet it is body-shaming and rude to call someone fat?
On many occasions, fuller girls thought it was funny to look at my chest and ask “why there’s so little there?” I laughed along with them, but deep inside I felt so self-conscious. I felt like I needed to go out and buy over-sized shirts just so that no one would noticed. At the time they may have thought that it was a joke, they may have thought that they were comfortable enough with me to pick on my body–but inside, the self-conscious part of me and the part of me who is so clued up in what society deems “natural” or “acceptable”–that part of me shriveled up inside.
When I laugh, my two front teeth stick out, I have seen many people look at one an another at that precise moment and try to control their laughter at the sight.
When I wear short sleeves or ankle jeans, the scars of my psoriasis show and I know people can’t help but stare.
When I wear clothes, I sometimes have to shop in the kiddies section to find the ones that fit me perfectly.
As for bras… let’s not even go there.
The point is that we live in a world where they tell you to be who you are and accept that we are all beautiful, but no one is willing to do it. This has gone on for years. Initially, it was that everyone wanted to be thin. Now, everyone wants to be hourglass perfection.
Why can’t we be whatever we want to be at any given time?
I have long since given up feeling bad or trying to change the way it affects me when people talk about my body or look at me with a strange look. I guess one day it won’t bother me so much.
All I can do is hope that one day it will be socially acceptable for me to be naturally thin and not have the world around me look at me as if I have an eating disorder.