To the person in the crowd…

I don’t know you, and maybe you don’t know me. I will tell you this though:

It’s okay.

I know you feel alone even in a crowd of people.
I know that sometimes even when you have a horde of loved ones ready to listen or ready to help, you still feel helpless.
I know that sometimes despite the fact that you have more than what others do, you still want more.
I know that even though you won’t admit it out loud, you envy those around you. You want what they have.
I know that sometimes even though you have travelled the world, coming home seems to be the only thing that makes sense, even when the house is empty.
I know that you hate the shell they see. I know you want someone to see past all that. You want someone who is going to look behind the physical appearance and the lavish lifestyle. You want genuine people. Continue reading To the person in the crowd…

Four

Circumstances and experiences can change you drastically. It doesn’t matter how many clichés you follow, it doesn’t matter how many catchy quotes you use to lie to those around you, it doesn’t even matter whether you physically stop yourself from feeling every little thing–at the end of a long day when you sit down with just your thoughts to surround you–the reality grabs hold of you in a vise grip.

Life is hard. It is so fucking hard that sometimes you don’t really understand which way is up and which way is down. There really isn’t anything wrong with having that feeling, it just means that somewhere and somehow, things are going exactly as they should be.

Nothing worth having comes easy in life and all that.

Sure, there’s that handful. That handful that have their lives mapped out for them. That handful that think they are truly living by never moving off of their path. Those people that knew from the beginning where they want to head and how they want it to turn out. Continue reading Four

It’s not you, it’s me…

Life is pretty simple. You make a decision and there’s a 50/50 chance you’re either gonna get good results or flake out.  Some of us fall under the latter category. Always flaking. Personally, when you’re all alone with no one to witness your internal downfall, you start to focus on all the bad things that have happened to you since day one. You start to believe that it is you.

What am I on about? Honestly, I don’t even know. There’s no method to madness and all of that. Continue reading It’s not you, it’s me…

Feel… Accept…Move On…

It has become a sort of trend being the broody and depressed person. The person who claims to have so much going on behind a big smile.

I used to be that person. I used to smile and pretend that everything was okay, no matter how many millions of pieces my heart shattered into.

I started a book that has been deeply hard and emotional for me. Believe it or not it has very little to do with me or my life. Maybe a few aspects here and there, but other than that it is a deeply heartbreaking and emotional tale.

I decided to write it simply to adopt a new approach on life.

Continue reading Feel… Accept…Move On…

Listen before you judge !

“People who die by suicide, don’t want to end their lives… they want to end the pain.”

 

I write this fresh off of re-watching the entire thirteen episodes of 13 Reasons Why.

I read a comment online where someone said that this series/story glorifies suicide, some people even mentioned the fact that those who choose suicide happen to be cowards. Maybe there are some out there, I have had the misfortune of meeting a few of those, who use suicide like a weapon—a cry for attention.

You know the saying though, for one bad egg, don’t throw away the whole basket.

Here’s the thing, suicide isn’t as simple or cowardice as people think. At such a young age can you even begin to imagine what causes someone to suddenly think to themselves I’m done? Continue reading Listen before you judge !

Yes, I write erotica … so?

 

More often than not I receive judgmental smiles and those suddenly uncomfortable look away moves whenever I tell people that I write adult erotica books. Even as people page through my book or see teasers of it, I’m given that smile.

You know that smile, right? That smile that says “well done, but why can’t you write about real stories?” or “don’t let our children read it.”

Honestly, I don’t write for children. It isn’t something I want to do. I’ve tried it once or twice but I always ended up adding sex or language somewhere in the story. Maybe to some I might be crass, but to me, my characters probably project the amount of passion I have.

And real stories? Sex and language is part of real life, right? Or are we still with the stalk theory?

No, I’m not a sex fiend who gets boinked every which way on every other day. Nor am I a potty mouth unless I really have to be.

In fact, any author would tell you that it isn’t even us that we’re writing about. Sure, maybe a quality or two would be siphoned off of us, but everything else is pure creativity.

This might have me losing brownie points, but what the actual fuck?

This is story-telling. That is exactly what Fifty Shades of Grey was about. It doesn’t mean that suddenly every woman/man who writes erotica has certain guilty pleasures or adapt that kind of a lifestyle—honestly even if they do, it isn’t anyone’s right to judge—it is what works with a story.

Even if there isn’t any need for the extra-special BDSM sex play, so what if an author decides to put it in? *pun intended* teehee.

Authors have stories to tell, be it personal or fictional, that is what we do.

Comparing every story to a label of whatever is hot out there in that moment, is an insult to the author and to your intelligence.

If you do not understand it, don’t judge it. Leave it where you found it and carry on with life. Talk crap about the character if you want. Talk about how the story never made sense in your head. Don’t bash an author though. Don’t give them those uncomfortable stares and sly smiles that say, I know what goes on in your head, you sex freak!

Where is this coming from you may ask?

Well, the other day I was asked why don’t I try my hand at writing children books. I laughed and said, “That isn’t something I’m looking to do just yet.”

To that end I was given a long lecture about how even adults prefer Harry Potter over books like Fifty Shades.

Firstly, two completely different genres. Don’t compare the two.

Secondly, so what? If there are adults out there that shy away from sex in books, then power to them. It is their choice. Just like how it is my choice to write the kind of books I want to write.

If no one reads it, it is okay. I had a story to tell and I did, and it’s out there… making me immortal.

Storylines can always match. There will always be hundreds of books about a human that falls in love with a vampire, the billionaire and the poor girl, the reformed bad boys, and the super rich lifestyle—it will always be there.

But in each word between each cover lies the dreams of the individual whose name is on the book.

Maybe respect that before judging someone for what story they choose to tell.

APRIL FOOL!

The idea behind April Fool’s Day was apparently created way back when. I often wonder what went through their heads at the time and why April? Why not any other month?

Stepping away from my questions, let me do what I do best and tell you about a few of my April Fool’s Memories.

Continue reading APRIL FOOL!