I don’t know you, and maybe you don’t know me. I will tell you this though:
I know you feel alone even in a crowd of people.
I know that sometimes even when you have a horde of loved ones ready to listen or ready to help, you still feel helpless.
I know that sometimes despite the fact that you have more than what others do, you still want more.
I know that even though you won’t admit it out loud, you envy those around you. You want what they have.
I know that sometimes even though you have travelled the world, coming home seems to be the only thing that makes sense, even when the house is empty.
I know that you hate the shell they see. I know you want someone to see past all that. You want someone who is going to look behind the physical appearance and the lavish lifestyle. You want genuine people.
You want someone who knows that sometimes you listen to sad, romantic music because it soothes you.
You want someone who accepts that there are things you have been through, too.
You want someone to feel your excitement when you find that album you were looking for.
You want someone who is going to sit with you all night watching mindless TV.
You want someone who values what you have to say, even when it may not be the best advice.
You want someone who is okay with you spending all day in bed without even hopping into the shower.
You want someone who sees past the white lies.
I know this because, although I may not be in your lifestyle, I have watched you. I have seen behind the practiced smile and the filtered group photos. I read between the lines of your inspirational quotes. I know that you surround yourself with so many people because you’re afraid. You’re afraid that if those people were not there, you’d be completely alone. I know you don’t want people thinking that you, you the coolest kid in the group, pines for epic love. I know that sometimes it is hard to breathe around the noose you tied around your neck, the noose of the image you decided to show people.
But, it’s okay.
You will get through this. You will get through it the day you decide to stop living in fear of their opinions and start living in honor of your true self. I know that you are expected to have a certain way about your life. You are expected to be with a certain type of people. You are expected to do the things that make everyone else around you proud.
Social Media is such a powerful thing. I know this because Social Media rules 90% of my life. I used the excuse that I needed to be on all platforms and continuously interacting with people for the sake of my books, but honestly I was and to an extent, am ruled by it.
In Ophelia, I had a quote where Ophelia believed that your relationship meant nothing until you confirmed it on Facebook. You couldn’t start your dinner until you Instagram’ed a photo of it. You didn’t feel something emotionally deep until you Tweeted something cryptic. You were not perfect until you used the best Snapchat filter. Continue reading →
Life is pretty simple. You make a decision and there’s a 50/50 chance you’re either gonna get good results or flake out. Some of us fall under the latter category. Always flaking. Personally, when you’re all alone with no one to witness your internal downfall, you start to focus on all the bad things that have happened to you since day one. You start to believe that it is you.
What am I on about? Honestly, I don’t even know. There’s no method to madness and all of that. Continue reading →
It has become a sort of trend being the broody and depressed person. The person who claims to have so much going on behind a big smile.
I used to be that person. I used to smile and pretend that everything was okay, no matter how many millions of pieces my heart shattered into.
I started a book that has been deeply hard and emotional for me. Believe it or not it has very little to do with me or my life. Maybe a few aspects here and there, but other than that it is a deeply heartbreaking and emotional tale.
I decided to write it simply to adopt a new approach on life.
“From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive:
They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;
They are the books, the arts, the academes,
That show, contain, and nourish all the world.”
—Berowne in Love’s Labor’s Lost