Tag Archives: writers


Circumstances and experiences can change you drastically. It doesn’t matter how many clichés you follow, it doesn’t matter how many catchy quotes you use to lie to those around you, it doesn’t even matter whether you physically stop yourself from feeling every little thing–at the end of a long day when you sit down with just your thoughts to surround you–the reality grabs hold of you in a vise grip.

Life is hard. It is so fucking hard that sometimes you don’t really understand which way is up and which way is down. There really isn’t anything wrong with having that feeling, it just means that somewhere and somehow, things are going exactly as they should be.

Nothing worth having comes easy in life and all that.

Sure, there’s that handful. That handful that have their lives mapped out for them. That handful that think they are truly living by never moving off of their path. Those people that knew from the beginning where they want to head and how they want it to turn out.

I realized that those are usually the saddest people I know. They are the ones sitting in a crowded bar surrounded by people who tell tales of their journeys. They are the ones surrounded by millions of “loved ones” yet never knowing the true feeling of love because that was never in their plans, or maybe they let it go because that was going to hinder their progress. They are the ones people like us watch from afar wondering why we couldn’t be as lucky, but soon realizing we would never change a thing.

I was that person. Until a certain day in May, I was the person that watched others with unhidden envy. I wanted success at my young age. I wanted the extra cash flow to go where I want and buy what I felt. I wanted that shiny engagement ring or that late night cuddle. I wanted the fame. I banked on it. Then came that day… that day when the universe aligns and suddenly you see things clearly. You take of those rose colored glasses and you see things for what they are. You see people for who they are.

It is so easy to get wrapped up in someone else’s idea of reality. It is so easy to get blinded by someone else’s version of success.

However, on the 26th of June, I am going to salute myself with a bottle of something bubbly, while hanging out with my mom. I am going to salute myself for four years of never giving up. Four years of watching people, friends, and family come and go from my life. Four years of pining for a love that was a flash fire. Four years of heartache and tears and those special moments of happiness and excitement. Four years of coming home tired and barely being able to bath let alone sit at my laptop and tap away at the keys. Four years of questions and struggling. Four years of fluctuating psoriasis. Four years of doubt, belief and then a little more doubt.

Four years of living my dream of calling myself an author.

You see, although I may not be on any fancy list. Although the sales may not be high. Although ninety percent of the people who read my books only do so because I put it up for free. Although sometimes it takes me a year to push out something half as good.

Although sometimes very few support what I do… I can look back on that day and know that four years and eight books later, I did what I always wanted to do. Every time that I sit at my laptop or look at my bookshelf, I know I can still do what I dreamt of doing.

No matter my bank balance, no matter how little of the world I have seen, no matter that some out there don’t think I am worth taking a chance on, I still get to call myself an author. I can still smile and know that even for a little while, I helped someone escape from reality when they pick up my book. I can create all the characters I want. I can create an alternate world where I can still believe in things like happily ever afters. I can create a world where no one will judge you for who you are and who you want to be.

That in itself is the biggest achievement in my life. I am lucky enough that every year on the 26th of June I can celebrate that fact. No matter where, no matter how and no matter who… my achievements will always be my biggest success.

Hold on to your dreams, but never forget to live while you’re at it. The best part of seeing your dreams come true, is the experience of the journey.


Communication vs Social Media

Social Media is such a powerful thing. I know this because Social Media rules 90% of my life. I used the excuse that I needed to be on all platforms and continuously interacting with people for the sake of my books, but honestly I was and to an extent, am ruled by it.

In Ophelia, I had a quote where Ophelia believed that your relationship meant nothing until you confirmed it on Facebook. You couldn’t start your dinner until you Instagram’ed a photo of it. You didn’t feel something emotionally deep until you Tweeted something cryptic. You were not perfect until you used the best Snapchat filter. Continue reading

Feel… Accept…Move On…

It has become a sort of trend being the broody and depressed person. The person who claims to have so much going on behind a big smile.

I used to be that person. I used to smile and pretend that everything was okay, no matter how many millions of pieces my heart shattered into.

I started a book that has been deeply hard and emotional for me. Believe it or not it has very little to do with me or my life. Maybe a few aspects here and there, but other than that it is a deeply heartbreaking and emotional tale.

I decided to write it simply to adopt a new approach on life.

Continue reading

Listen before you judge !

“People who die by suicide, don’t want to end their lives… they want to end the pain.”


I write this fresh off of re-watching the entire thirteen episodes of 13 Reasons Why.

I read a comment online where someone said that this series/story glorifies suicide, some people even mentioned the fact that those who choose suicide happen to be cowards. Maybe there are some out there, I have had the misfortune of meeting a few of those, who use suicide like a weapon—a cry for attention.

You know the saying though, for one bad egg, don’t throw away the whole basket.

Here’s the thing, suicide isn’t as simple or cowardice as people think. At such a young age can you even begin to imagine what causes someone to suddenly think to themselves I’m done? Continue reading

Yes, I write erotica … so?


More often than not I receive judgmental smiles and those suddenly uncomfortable look away moves whenever I tell people that I write adult erotica books. Even as people page through my book or see teasers of it, I’m given that smile.

You know that smile, right? That smile that says “well done, but why can’t you write about real stories?” or “don’t let our children read it.”

Honestly, I don’t write for children. It isn’t something I want to do. I’ve tried it once or twice but I always ended up adding sex or language somewhere in the story. Maybe to some I might be crass, but to me, my characters probably project the amount of passion I have.

And real stories? Sex and language is part of real life, right? Or are we still with the stalk theory?

No, I’m not a sex fiend who gets boinked every which way on every other day. Nor am I a potty mouth unless I really have to be.

In fact, any author would tell you that it isn’t even us that we’re writing about. Sure, maybe a quality or two would be siphoned off of us, but everything else is pure creativity.

This might have me losing brownie points, but what the actual fuck?

This is story-telling. That is exactly what Fifty Shades of Grey was about. It doesn’t mean that suddenly every woman/man who writes erotica has certain guilty pleasures or adapt that kind of a lifestyle—honestly even if they do, it isn’t anyone’s right to judge—it is what works with a story.

Even if there isn’t any need for the extra-special BDSM sex play, so what if an author decides to put it in? *pun intended* teehee.

Authors have stories to tell, be it personal or fictional, that is what we do.

Comparing every story to a label of whatever is hot out there in that moment, is an insult to the author and to your intelligence.

If you do not understand it, don’t judge it. Leave it where you found it and carry on with life. Talk crap about the character if you want. Talk about how the story never made sense in your head. Don’t bash an author though. Don’t give them those uncomfortable stares and sly smiles that say, I know what goes on in your head, you sex freak!

Where is this coming from you may ask?

Well, the other day I was asked why don’t I try my hand at writing children books. I laughed and said, “That isn’t something I’m looking to do just yet.”

To that end I was given a long lecture about how even adults prefer Harry Potter over books like Fifty Shades.

Firstly, two completely different genres. Don’t compare the two.

Secondly, so what? If there are adults out there that shy away from sex in books, then power to them. It is their choice. Just like how it is my choice to write the kind of books I want to write.

If no one reads it, it is okay. I had a story to tell and I did, and it’s out there… making me immortal.

Storylines can always match. There will always be hundreds of books about a human that falls in love with a vampire, the billionaire and the poor girl, the reformed bad boys, and the super rich lifestyle—it will always be there.

But in each word between each cover lies the dreams of the individual whose name is on the book.

Maybe respect that before judging someone for what story they choose to tell.


Every book has its journey. For Tainted Blood it started in July of 2010. At that stage it was known as A Spell to Die For, it was based on triplets with names after jewels; Amethyst, Tanzanite and Garnet. It had much of the same storyline about young Tanzanite trying to get out from under the rule of a ruthless queen. She was the opposite of everything Atalia stands for today. Continue reading


There is a split second before a writer sits at his/her laptop, desktop or pen poised to write in their notebook–where they doubt themselves. Not their story because in their mind it is pure brilliance but themselves and whether they will be able to do justice to their characters.

As much as many writers say that their only priority is to write for themselves and to write for their characters, there is a major part of them–say 60% of their mind–that is solely focused on wanting to captivate a wide readership.  Continue reading